5 Minute Memoirs

To-Done List

The only reason I am putting my list of 2010 goals here is so thatI am publicly held to them, but also it’s an easy way not to lose the list in a pile of papers somewhere…I will strike out items over the year as I feel I complete them.

What are your big to done’s for 2010?

Things to do in 2010:
-travel
-go on a missions trip
-renew my visa
-keep working out
-keep saving money
-serve the poor
-meet with more mentors
-live in my own house
-serve my church
-buy a sailboat, learn to sail
-READ
-mentor someone
-share Christ more often
-study/read the Bible
-take a course at a Community College
-more public speaking
-paint/create/make more with my hands
-pray for my friends more often
-write music
-keep a journal of daily events
-learn about listening to God

Nice vs. Kindness

Was thinking and talking about kindness with a friend today. And I thought that kindness is an elusive word….

What I mean is that so many people prefer to call things “nice”.  It’s like “nice” is the Diet version of kindness. But they are totally different in my mind. I would much rather have someone describe me as kind rather than nice. Nice has almost an air of indifference to it, or it’s used as a screen-saver word; that word that you say without really thinking about what you are saying. But “kind” is a whole different animal, kindness implies action…and depth.

There’s something almost old-fashioned about the word kind. Old men are described as kind, people have kind eyes.

I suppose the challenge to you and to myself is to leave people feeling that you weren’t just “nice” (which is almost like saying they were “tolerable”) but rather, leave people richer than you found them because of your “kindness”.

Are you terrible at budgeting? I wrote this for you!

Hey friends, this is about money and how to keep more of the the money you make.

Background: I’ve always had an easy time making a budget and having it look amazing on paper, then have always failed time and time again in actually sticking to it in the real world. This has gone on for years, high hopes, low results. I’ve had jobs where I’ve made very little and jobs where I’ve made lots of money but have never been able to manage my money easily or well.  So after reading some writing by the highly respectable and wise Dave Ramsey I developed a simple system that made sense to me based on some of the principles he talks about.  I call it the Cash Budget and have had so many friends ask me about it that I’ve decided to explain it here so that more people can benefit from it and become total ballers, or at least not bounce rent checks.

Lies I believed:
-that you spend cash faster than if you use cards
-that credit cards are for emergencies
-that cards are good for spending because you can budget, categorize, and track your spending online easily

The Cash Budget:

1. Expenses: think through all your monthly fixed expenses and write them down or put into my sample spreadsheet

• fixed expenses are things like: rent, insurance, monthly donations, gym membership, credit card payment
• fixed expenses are not: gas, groceries, entertainment and etc.
• these expenses should be paid online linked to ur checking account or with checks, not cash, not credit cards

2. Math: Total all of those items. Subtract that figure from your monthly income.

Example:
$2000 (monthly income)
-$1500 (fixed expenses)
$500 (flexible expenses)

3. The Hard Truth: The amount that is remaining is ALL you have to spend on EVERYTHING ELSE. Do you hear me? EVERYTHING so if that’s not enough, you have to find a way to increase your monthly income or cut out a fixed expense.

4. The Magic: Take that amount say $500 and divide by 4. That leaves you $125 per week to spend on all your “flexible spending”.

• Flexible expenses are things like: shopping, gas, dining, entertainment, groceries, and miscellaneous
• If necessary you can categorize your flexible spending. ex. $125/week ($25 dining, $50 groceries,  $25 misc, $25 gas)

5. Allowance: Now that you know your weekly Allowance, you MUST get in the habit of taking this out in Cash every Friday.

• Why Friday? Because you will always spend the most on the weekend and Monday morning you will realize that you need to find a way to make that $20 in your wallet last the whole week. Even if you think that it’s OK to get it on Saturday it is NOT, because you will go out Friday night, buy some stuff you don’t need and mentally try and keep track till you take your allowance out and it won’t work….I speak from experience.
• Why cash? Because it is way too hard to keep track of your flexible spending if you use a card. Also you get better deals when bartering with cash, you avoid ATM fee’s, and credit card minimums at bars and other shady establishments

6. Freeze your Credit Card: Stop using your Credit Card asap…literally don’t even carry it with you. Here’s a good tip: take your credit card and freeze it in a Tupperware container full of water. That way when you think you have to use it…you’ll have to wait. Oh and you don’t need a Credit Card to build good credit. And also, CC companies are straight up evil.

6. Emergency Fund: try as hard as you can to add an expense line in step 1 called Emergency Savings

• The goal is to save $1000 as soon as you can and keep it in an account separate from your checking account
• As alluded to by the name, this money is for Emergencies only, and is designed to help you stop using your Credit Card for Emergencies
• A sale, or traffic ticket is not an Emergency, accidentally cutting your arm off and needing a robotic one put on is.

7. Be Tough: This is the last and maybe hardest step. This whole plan really does work, and certainly will help you to have more financial sanity. It worked for me and for my friends. But you need to be disciplined. Take out cash every Friday, don’t use your Debit or Credit Cards, stick to your budget and save that $1000.  To paraphrase Dave Ramsey: “tell your money where to go instead of watching where it went”

Ok I hope this helps some people out, ask me questions if you have any, although I am hardly a financial guru. I just know how to pay rent and buy groceries now I would also love feedback and ideas on how to make this even better!

Men don’t grow on trees

My girlfriend Sarah is an Elementary school teacher for grades 1 & 2. She told me a story this morning about one of the little boys in her class whose mother pulled Sarah aside to tell her that the boys father left again last Thursday and she has been telling the boy that he is gone on a “business trip”.

Now this is a narrative that our world knows all to well, but for some reason hearing that this morning made. my. heart. stop.

I was sad/mad/frustrated and ashamed to be a part of the male species of human. I mean it, it’s embarassing.

In a world that desperately needs Men (yes you know what the capital M means) all we are raising up are boys. How selfish and boyish can you be to leave your 6yr old child alone with a now single mother. How can that action ever follow a logical thought process? And how can we expect the boys of our generation to become Men if this is what they have as an example? Manhood is not learned in textbooks, it’s learned by watching your father so close that you can smell his aftershave and feel his sharp whiskers. You can’t learn how to use an axe by reading a book. You’ll just be a kid who has now become dangerous. And that is what is happening all around us; boys with grown-up resources but lacking instruction, leaving them dangerous.

Ever notice how in every popular TV show the Mom is in charge, calling the shots, wearing the pants, running the family…..and the Dad? Well if he’s even a part of the cast, he’ll be a deadbeat, TV watching, wife-leaving, alchohol abusing, disengaged, BOY.

Sorry if I sound upset, but I am. I want to be a part of making this cycle stop.

It’s time for men to be Men.

A brief definition of FAITH

I think that FAITH is committing to a risk-laden decision based on a lack of evidence.

What do you think it is?

How to predict the “next big thing”

Was talking with my friend George the other day about the idea of collective consciousness.

I realize that term sounds pretty vague, elusive, new-age, arty-farty and etc. So let me unpack it quick. He was saying that if God created all of us, then we are all connected to God, kinda like how a painting is an extension of an artist. So God made everyone, then isn’t everyone connected to everyone else through God? It’s like God is one of those power bar extension cord things…

That being said, and agreed upon we can continue; if we’re all connected then it’s possible to gain insight into what the “world” wants/needs/doesn’tneedbutwillbuyanyways. Therefore, I wonder if coming up with the next hula hoop, twitter, expensive jeans, or POGS is as easy as connecting to God…the powerbar?

That’s what I’m thinking about these days, because it’s kind of my job to come up with good ideas…and that can be stressful unless I’m on my knees.

I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

I’ve been thinking about my life lately.

And the thoughts I’ve had are that perhaps there are two approaches to life:

1) Focus on a God-given dream/calling and pursue it with all you have (such as “I want to be a doctor/artist/actor/etc)

2) Or decide that your focus will be on being available and taking the opportunities that God brings across your path.

I can’t really decide which one is better. But i’ve been having some interesting conversations about this and here’s the theory thus far.

Maybe in our youth, God is building a foundation for us of seemingly random experiences. Then as we get older, the experiences become less varied until they focus, or sharpen into a specific life purpose that God has uniquely prepared us for. Does that make sense? Maybe the pyramid will help, I like graphics.

Anyways…I’m still thinking about all of this. I suppose it was fueled by the realization that I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I see people with razor sharp focus (Jim Rayburn founder of Young Life for example) and wonder, when I’ll find my hill worth dying on.

What do you think about this? Do you even think about this? I’m curious, fill me in, let’s talk about this….

Choose or have it chosen for you

I’m on a train from LA to San Diego reflecting on the observation that either you choose where you want to live, then move there, and discover your career, job, purpose and community there. Or the other option is to choose what career, job, purpose or community you want to experience in your life and then that will dictate where you need to be located.

For example: I wanted to pursue a career and dream involving the denim industry, so eventually we were forced to give up the dream or move to LA, the denim Mecca. And now I live in LA.

Which option do you usually take? Choose location or choose mission. I think they’re both valid but both worth considering.

The Shampoo>Conditioner>Product cycle of conspiracy

I’m not really big on conspiracy theories on the whole. I don’t really care if men have been on the moon, or if men did a really really good studio photoshoot in 1969. BUT I have discovered a real conspiracy that I think you all need to know about. It goes something like this:

1. Thought to oneself: “My hair is gross, I should clean it”

2. Watch TV commercial about hair product and think “they are right! God really meant for my hair to smell like flowers and fruit, he just made a small mistake”

3. Go to local “we sell all kinds of crazy stuff” store (Rite-Aid) and peruse hair products aisle.

4. Buy some Shampoo and Conditioner (insert Billy Madison quote here)

5. Go home and wash hair. *note: this is where the real conspiracy starts

6. Shampoo hair and realize it is dry and crappy feeling

7. Use Conditioner to nullify Shampoo’s undesireable side-effects

8. Notice that now your hair is clean and fruity smelling, but looks ridiculous.

9. Proceed to misc. life supplies store (Rite-Aid) and buy product for your hair

10. Style your hair so you look cool again

11. Product stays in your hair and makes it wierd and gross, and only Shampoo can clean it

12. Return to step 6 and get stuck in endless cycle of buying stuff you don’t need.

Ok that’s the basics of the conspiracy. Hair product companies sell you stuff that ruins your hair, so you buy stuff that fixes it, which ends up making it gross, so that you buy more stuff to ruin it.

My solution? Rinse your hair every-day with water instead and shampoo montly. Save money and fight the man.

If I blog in a forest and no-one reads it, does it exist?

So it has been a while since I’ve written on this thing for 2 reason.

1) I was on vacation and was being lazy

2) I returned from vacation lazy and wondered if anyone reads this

Then i realized that it is bad to be lazy, and that expressing ones thoughts and attempting to record and organize them is worth it even if no-one is listening. If I blog in a forest and no-one reads it, does it exist? (I mean the blog….not the forest)

Therefore, i am back on track writing about stuff that comes to my mind. When I think about my life sometimes I like to think in reverse…for example:

I want to have cool stories to tell to my kids, grand-kids and pets. So that means I need to do cool things now, like moving onto a sailboat with my friend Jon in August….That would be cool, pet’s love that kind of story.

Anyways…this is just a little catch up blog. No real precious thoughts here, mostly rambling, but I am serious about de-lazying parts of my life (even though people probably think i am pretty disciplined…i know the real truth)